On a woman’s body
000204 Victoria Falls, Zambia

A woman’s body is the citadel of our future generations. How much enjoyment can we derive (the inner feeling of amazement and compassion) and give to her (a tender caress, a warm hug), inspired by this realization.

981028 San Francisco
On your appearance

Remember that appearance is not as important as how you feel. Do not get hung up on your appearance. Being reasonably hygienic might be advisable, but your persona may be affected if you spend too much time trying to make yourself presentable. I think it is much more important for a woman to be appreciated than for her suitor to be looking just perfect. Spending too much time primping may distract your feeling of casual freedom, which can be one of the sexiest and more potent assets you have. Your ability to speak directly and without fear is much more important than your appearance. Saying, “You look beautiful, I want to meet you” transcends imperfections in your appearance. Don’t forget it.

990202 Hsinchu, Taiwan
On approaching women

When you see a girl/woman you like, it is a feeling that has been described as “flash.” There is difference between seeing a woman whom you think is attractive and feeling the “flash.” “Flash” has the connotation of chemistry. It is easy to admire a beautiful woman, but there may not be a feeling of “kinship”. While I find either circumstance to merit the possibility of further (immediate, usually) investigation, I believe the “flash” feeling is more meaningful to pursue. Within certain limits, I would even say that at that point, looks sort of become secondary. That means sometimes you might even pass up the better looking woman for one who makes you feel something. This sometimes can bring surprisingly pleasant results. Sometimes your instincts work better than your eyes. (Since there is so much to a woman, you cannot always tell all there is about her, even physically, by her appearance with clothing on, or even with a bathing suit on.) There must be some reason that you feel the physical/spiritual attraction to that particular being.

Approaching women, to me, is sort of like hunting and art combined. I don’t rush in usually, although there is no problem with that when merited. First of all, many times, the moment you see a woman, it is not the best moment for one reason or another. Maybe she is with other people, and she might be more comfortable to accept your advance if she was alone. Maybe you would appear too eager or typical. On the other hand, maybe too much hesitation might be interpreted as fear. I think appearing unafraid, or better yet, actually being unafraid, is most conducive to positive results. So, sometimes I will just wait, sometimes I will wait beyond what seems sensible. Why? Because I am going on feeling, not just intellect. Sometimes I wait too long and lose the chance! But I like to add a little of the spice of chance to a meeting, because that adds to the romantic sensation, and gives it a sense of “it was fate!”

It is important to understand this point: if the situation is not conducive to approaching her at that moment, if you position yourself and wait, an opportunity is likely to come. Why? I can’t explain that, it just seems that it is so. Perhaps it is like this with most things we want.

On assumptions
980823 Seoul, Korea

Remember never to assume, when seeing a girl you would like to meet, anything. If she is with someone, do not assume that it is her boyfriend and do not assume she is happy.

On Being Direct
011210 Point Richmond, CA

It is important to be direct with a woman you are courting. (But being direct can also be done indirectly through suggestion. For example, if you buy a woman a gift, she knows you are thinking about her.) The reason for this is so that there is not any misunderstanding. If you want her, tell her, and tell her soon. (She will either be interested or not, or if she is not at first, the fact that you have told her gives her the opportunity to consider your overture.) There are so many opportunities for a woman to misunderstand your intentions. She may (God forbid!) think that you only want to be a friend (and you may want more, so tell her). This also goes in line with the saying that ‘you can do anything to a woman except bore her (or make a fool out of her)’. If you take too long to get to the point, she may get bored. She may be battling with her own fears and doubts. She may, for e.g., wonder if you even like her. She may think that you don’t find her attractive, or if you show her too late, she may think that she did not inspire a very great amount of desire.

On being stood up
Singapore 990508

When you make first contact with a girl, no assumptions should be made about what is in her mind. If, for example, you are stood up, you should not assume that it is because she doesn’t like you. Many things could have happened to keep her from meeting you.

It is imperative that you should not take things personally, ever. Taking things personally and being hurt only clouds the mind, and the objective is to be as clear as possible.

It would be better to search for the reason that she did not come. Now sometimes, it is true, she just may not be interested. But many times, she may be interested but something may be keeping her from coming or from seeing you. It is OK to express your disappointment.

That is why:
When Lisa told me on the telephone she could not spend the night with me again because she had to leave a day earlier than expected, I tried not to take it too hard. I told her how I felt, that I felt disappointed, but I also tried to be gently persuasive (and somewhat light-hearted). She agreed to meet me in the lobby of a hotel on her way to the airport the next day. She was not there. She showed up about an hour late, a victim of traffic. I found the right words to persuade her to spend the night together.